"Illumination"

Illumination

Upon my weary wayward way I chanced upon the ghost

Of all this life would never see, the lack of love foremost

A jumbled way of misdirections

Caused a host of missed connections

Howling like a wounded beast

The heart is cut, the dream deceased

The iron armor's melted in the fire of all that's gone

Exposing to the world at large in gentleness of dawn

The deepest caverns never seen

A vein of iron's always been

I see it clear as world is turned

And, morning sun through fissures burned

Past cavern's door

Right to the core

To burn through stone and empathize

To bring to light and emphasize

That light illumes and, now, I find

Hidden deep within the mind

That deepest core is not of metal

Something stronger still

The core is made of fire and petal

Burned into the will

 

"Stained Glass"

 Stained glass

The joys of life etched into coloured glass

Shatters into pieces as the demons pass

I lovingly, as heart releases

Bend to knees to pick up pieces

From anguish held so long

With caring hands I pick each shard

From barren ground of life so hard

The sharpened edges cut like blades

The pain less dire than bleak charades

I seek my will in song

Each chip reshaped within a dream

Each sliver casts specific theme

Broken pieces held together

By the will and loving tether

In forms that slowly build

So beautiful with crafted care

The coloured light bestows fanfare

No simple craft is this we dare

But, resolute with flame and flair 

The heart's phantasm filled

Stained glass as it is willed

w

This is one of the poems that presents what I have tried to explain.  I use my poetry to get out of the gloom, not to emphasize it.  It took a lifetime but the gloom is beginning to have its way.  I don't even know if it is worth fighting it any longer.  I will say that I will always try but ...

    It's funny, as I think about it.  After the incident that I nearly caused, in which Great Heart insisted, in no uncertain terms, that I stick around, I took a drive down to the next big city south (there are none north, until Canada).  The trip was to explore and set up for an upcoming event.  I was on my way back on a different route than the one to the city and I missed my exit.  I went just a little ways before I figured it out, stopped to get directions, and turned right back around.

    As I was returning, as if to emphasise what Great Heart had emphatically stated, I saw these two signs on the side of the road.  They said something like, "Stick Around" and "The World Is A Better Place With You In It".  I paraphrase since I don't remember the wording at all.  It was fewer words but the same intent.

"The Deep"

 The Deep

I wander, once again, on distant shore

Rising from the depths that I explore

I often wonder whether man will see

That I have wrought the truth for him to be.

The pressures of The Deep upon my soul

Sought to crush the meaning of the whole

Into those depths I wandered unaware

That in those depths resided every care

"Borderland"

 Borderland 

I hope someday you see the point of optimism

How the gloom and doom do preordain

How darkest rationale and dogmatism

Just bodes the misery we live sustain

Could not have broken through to find the note

If all I did was listen to the rote

My adoration is for real

Not of mist but tempered steel

Yes, it built as high as hope

But countered by a silent trope

Thatt failed to comprehend

And, thus, it did suspend

my life

"Shake it"

Time to shake that feeling that was lost inside of me
The sparkles and the fireworks that are crying to be free
The wind is wailing that it's time for the release
Time for all the aching and the emptiness to cease
The whistle of the train and further pouring of the rain
Have never left a mark that I can see
The spinning of the carousel is grinding to a halt
The lights along the canopy are witnessing the fault
Shifting sands of foreign lands are falling to the sea
Below the tide where sands reside that leave no mark on me
The tempest of the feelings and the crack of lightning's thunder
This time no taste of bittersweet but, slowly, sinking under

Is the vision but mirage I see
No, for then the bittersweet would be
'Tis miracle of heart in apogee
'Tis more than spin of tale as heart goes soaring free
Above the world, above the love, all vistas in the vision
The landscape is remaining one of lasting composition

w

how many friggin' times before i say i've had enough...i actually know the answer to that.

"Everything"

Calamity of life beyond the pale
Perception that, in all, this life will fail
Disturbs the voice of endless body blows
Acceptance of the misery that shows
Contends with hint that wonder can be met
Though past in reeling sadness has been set
The future, unrepentant, will defeat
The shadows of the past of hard concrete

w