The Lie itself

January, 2026

Maybe nothing portrays the complexity of that with which a sentient race contends in order to gain its sentient state than the lie itself, the lie that started it all.  It is a confounding subject to explore, much less explain, as I have tried for going on twenty years.  Even calling rutting coitus a lie is a simplification of a complex situation.  It is only a lie for a sentient race.

As I write, "The desperation to avoid the seeming truth, that is itself a lie, is palpable." in the post on The Grand Narrative, I realize just how twisted the situation really is.  It is a truth that grew into a lie for a sentient race that can change its circumstances.

Rutting coitus is an unavoidable truth for the animal.  They are witless and cannot conceive of changing the circumstances of coitus.  It is not a lie for an animal.  Coitus was made that way by Nature for animals because animals cannot think well enough to contend with the mechanics of making love.  Nature also provided for so much more than an animal can experience.  Nature provided everything necessary for a sentient race to make it a loving event.  We have just not gotten out of our own way.

In the case of a sentient race, rutting coitus becomes the lie.  Rutting coitus is the situation in which a sentient race emerges.  It is not acceptable for a sentient race that knows better.  We know better.

Rutting coitus was so ingrained, through millions of years of the witless animal's existence, before we ever existed, that we couldn't initially conceive of how to make it an act of love.  We did conceive of what it would mean to make it an act of love, though.  The conundrum regarding the two disparate notions led us to look for explanations.  

Crossing the threshold from the rutting coitus of the animal to the realization of Loving Coitus is the defining moment of sentience.

It has dogged our steps for at least three millennia.  Rutting coitus makes sense - for an animal.  Loving Coitus is the only way coitus makes coherent sense to a sentient race.

Rutting coitus is an act that haunts our sentience.  It is a lie to believe that it is acceptable for a sentient race.  We purge our sentience by believing rutting coitus is acceptable to a self-aware race.

Early prehumanity could conceive of an act of coitus that suited a sentient race, a loving act in which the ecstasy was shared by both, but could not conceive of how to do it.  They opted to avoid the the question altogether.  In the West, because it had been blatantly exposed by Sappho, if no one else, the idea had to be squelched.  The East, for whatever reason, was able to adopt Saving Face rather than ever confront the issue. (I still wonder if the East would have ever been able to confront the situation with such an approach; it really squelched all consideration thoroughly)

It is that squelching in all cultures that led to all of the trouble.  We knew what should be but could not face it at all.  So, it was rendered into a lie, enforced by the mantra "Don't even think about it.  It will drive you mad."  "It is madness to make coitus something pleasurable for a sentient race."

In order to make that happen, subtle nuances, insidious implications, were applied to make sure the young never got it into their heads to ever think about it.

I've already talked at length about how youth still rebels in the absence of anything substantial to rebel against.  The biggest idea that ever enters their heads is that something is not right.  They still rebel, even in the depths of their blindness.  It is our sentience rebelling against the forced forced blindness.  For the Flower Power Generation, it was finally voiced as "Free Love".  All the got was free sex.

At best, somewhere deep in the subconscious of a young man the following may rattle around "Coitus should be different, but my elders (that I'm taught to respect and obey (for no good reason)) weren't able to change anything, so who am I to think any different?"  It is the defeat of a sentient being.

"It's been this way forever, so who am I to think differently?"

That which rubs everyone raw over a lifetime is our sentient awareness.  It knows what should be.  Humanity is not built to accept the failure.

With the acceptance of the failure to fulfill the act of love in the most natural manner possible, we fail as a race to become sentient.

I've been thinking about the lie that started it all in conjunction with a few of the lesser lies and begin to gain a little more clarity.

TLTSIA, that sex can be no more than what it is, that the woman must service the man's ecstasy with nothing in return.  The lie is only a lie for Humans.  As long as it persists, it forces the prehuman into a state exactly the same as an animal.  It is an the utter truth for the animal.  It is a lie, due to three millennia of delusions and animal-like perception of a sentient existence for a race continuing to desperately avoid its sentient clarity.

After rewriting The Grand Narrative, I began thinking about TLTSIA and realized there is even more to say.

I was thinking about the mindset that develops in the man as the years go by.  It starts with absolute shock that the most essential expression of love is no more than a tawdry affair.  Then, it moves on to a struggle with how to contend with the awkward situation without the slightest ability to accept the situation.  That is the point that them man goes haywire.  

The concept that there is something wrong with one's own enactment of loving expression is nigh on impossible to accept.  It twists and twists - both genders.  

I can still think of my own attempts to grapple with the situation.  I could not accept that there was something wrong with me, so my thinking toyed with the idea that there must be something wrong with the woman.  That screwy thought was buried deeply, like the rest of the conundrum of coitus. 

Of course, in my unusual case, I just did my best to avoid the situation in the strangest way imaginable without ever looking for an alternative.  Funny thing is that I was helped along the way by women.  Let me tell you, that is a huge admission on my part that took me on the order of half a century to accept.

Every man struggles with the same impossible realization, that they are not succeeding at the most loving act of existence, unless by some extraordinary circumstances, he learns to succeed wholly.  That is rare to the point of a fraction of a percent.  

If they are not succeeding completely, then they have to find some other way to settle the score.  

Some pursue wealth or fame or power to attract women and cast them aside at the slightest hint that they are catching on, becoming bored, or finding another way to contend with the lack of their own ecstasy.  Some find alternative ways to fulfill the woman's ecstasy, finally accepting that there is nothing to be done.  Deep in the subconscious, I suspect that they sense what they are never willing to admit.  This makes them less than Human.  Some (most?) choose finding a woman that accepts the