Delusions

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There is another point that struck me, though I think I already covered it well enough in the excerpt from Millennium.

I was talking online with a woman once and she mentioned that she had never been with a man that was good enough at coitus to make it worth her while.  When I mentioned that's the common case, she said that could not be true because her cousin (maybe it was sister) was married and had a baby.

Do I need to explain further?  Her feeling that loving coitus equated with having a baby is so eloquent at describing the confounded aspect on our views on sex.  The fictions prevail due to all of the stories we read.  I explained to her how confused that thought was (I was already becoming too blunt and intolerant of the stupour; my fault, I'm sure).  I think that was close to the last conversation we had.  The next one might have been when she responded, "F off" and, then, "Get a life".  I became exasperated and responded that I was trying to make it so that all of humanity could get a life.  She was right, though.  I never really did have a life for myself.  Another reason I am more than willing to make the radical changes I am about to do ... I think.

I had to delete about ten paragraphs because they no longer apply.